I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
