4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It's never too late to be topless.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
