Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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