We're facebook friends in real life
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
is it fun? or sober?
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