You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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