OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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