I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Welp...herpes.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
