God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
