I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
