hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
