Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
