why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
