we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
