Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
