Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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