Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
smell my finger.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
