I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
