ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
