My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
His nipple licking is glorious
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