all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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