i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
