i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
she smelled like a LAN party
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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