that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
