too bad you live with your parents still
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
