Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
