My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize