Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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