Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
