Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
