he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
