They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
