god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize