Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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