So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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