what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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