He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
