I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
