that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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