Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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