well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
