tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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