This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Randomize
