My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
