i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
