not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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