tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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