hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
