Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
