Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
