Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
