he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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