I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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