I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
