First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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