Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
