On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
