Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
