Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
