4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I am spending my child support on dildos
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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