Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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