Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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