Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So much Jack, so little girl.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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