So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
