whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
This can only be settled by a dance off.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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