I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
How external is "for external use only"?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
