She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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