This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize