If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
