You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
