It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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