Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
