Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
