Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
