Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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