Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
